It's been a while. I know right?! So basically the reason I am back with my this stuff because there is sooo maany things going on in my mind right now. So I am going to tell you my story. Something bad happened. Something I never thought i'd be feeling it happened. I was feeling so unusual last december & I never thought what i was feeling is something that is going to happen. I just, somehow, something hit me, "2015 is going to be a hard year, sleepless nights & broken thoughts" I thought i was just like for spm since I will be taking spm this year. but.. it turned out to be something else. Something bigger than that. I had to let go another person I love in 2015 & the pain, I just, I'm not good at describing anymore, because no matter how perfect my words are, you will never get it.
I was so depressed. So depressed till I could not do my homework, study, sleep or even eat. I didn't eat much for days. I just kept telling myself that let me be sad about it, just let be grieve about it until I have no feelings left to be felt.So, I decided every time the thought of him came into me & I had to cut myself. I know what you are thinking about, because I've been receiving a lot of comments & criticism. There are some people called me ''attention seeker'' but hahah boom i was like okay.. they don't feel what I feel.. so I shall not take anything what they said to me personally. Really, I didn't. My friends, they are so nice, I couldn't ask better friends. They just noticed my pain in my laugh & sadness in my smile. I couldn't tell you how grateful I am to have friends like them. My classmates, they are so cute! There was one day I just did not feel like talking because I was actually holding a knife (shhh shut up) & I hid it with my school scarf, & they just so cute. My friend just did not stop from giving me hugs all the time & they asked me so many times, "athiraah okay ke?" I was, never better! (lies of course) & I received a lot of whatsapp messages from them. I just wanted to tell you that, no matter how hurt you are right now, there are someone out there, still care about you. Still love you, no matter what, despite this word is so full with mean people, you just have to find it.& if you have found them, never let them go. Never, ever, ever. Because they'll be the reason you'll throw all those knives of yours & smile without even feel anything. So, chin up, okay? It's not over yet. Not every goodbye is the end. Sometimes, its the beginning.