this morning i woke up with heavy heartache. my mom was fussing around & she was mad for unreasonable reason & started to throw words that she did not mean to say. as a daughter, of course i would be sad, who wouldn't? & then the words from my friend suddenly emerged within me; "you are the friend that ive never wanted." it makes me sadder & sadder. really.
my mom took me to mosque & i said to Rabb, "Ya Allah, i am sorry for becoming your servant that You never wanted." suddenly the inner me said, if Allah doesn't love you, why He still keeping this heart beating? i was lost. i was indeed in the middle of sorrow & pain & i couldn't stop blaming myself. but then i said to myself, "because of Him, i must be strong. because of Him, i must keep going. because of Him. La tahzan inallaha ma'ana." i kept repeating that, & i did solat dhuha & zikhr in tears. Now i know why people said; "in sujood, i found what i lost." i do feel a lot of better after that, alhamdulillah.
we all get sad sometimes. we all have that morning when we never expected things to turn out to something we despise. if you are having this kind of day, please, do not give up finding His blessings. Find him. Lower your knees & make dua's. It will help you. May your day is showered by His blessings & happiness. Ameen, inshallah. Keep on believing in Him.
"Verily, only in the remembrance of Allah, do hearts find rest." [13:28]