Someone asked me; "why are you so sad & why do you look sad every single time?". That question made me thinking. This is not the life I want to live. I always emphasize people who had left, questions that have been haunted me and all those flashes of memories that have nothing new to show. I have to be happy, no matter how down I am in this world, no matter how hard addmaths questions are and no matter how big the hole in my heart. And you should too. Because life is a beautiful thing, sometimes it's not people, it's you. And stop expecting from people, even the smallest thing, even you expect them to help you when your books fall, just don't. Expectation hurts. My sister told me, "sometimes, you have to be stand up, even you are alone." One thing I learnt, if you do not happy with yourself then you'll never be happy with your spouse, even though your friends. Let go of past, let go of memories because when they call you, they have nothing new to say.
Raya was fun! My definition of fun; when you are in that state of not realizing what weather it is out there, how many notifications in your phone, how big your mouth when you're laughing really hard, how bad your face is and how many your thoughts can stop you from being so happy, but you don't. And somehow you just thought yourself, this is it, this is my life, this is the life I want to live, those are the people I want to take care of, this is me I want to be. Being happy in that state of fun! It's not just raya, it's family & friends bonding time. Alhamdulillah for everything, for every good moment, for every single person who decide to stay when they have the option to leave, for everything in the past that taught me to be who I am today. Alhamdulillah & terima kasih semua.
If you are reading this, selamat hari raya! I am sorry for all my wrongdoings, unconsciously done or consciously done, please do accept my sincere apologies. May He showered you with His endless blessings & forgiveness & happiness in your life. Be happy, okay? (: x